i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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