Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
