My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
