Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
