did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize