like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
