sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
