Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
