So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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