My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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