I wannas sexs uuuuu
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
