seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
