1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
