I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
