Whod you bang
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
