butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
