just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We need to get me chipped asap
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
