Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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