and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
