There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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