Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
