I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
