i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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