i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
