Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
