somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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