it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
