I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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