I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just pee around me
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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