I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
