Buhtt sex?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
