The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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