I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
