Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
