high people should be assigned attendants
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
