I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
