I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
