oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
