he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
