Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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