Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
