"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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