No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
