I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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