I hope mine doesn't look like that
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
