I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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