i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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