I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
