I'm drive I can fine osifer
I puked a lego.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
