Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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