There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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