the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
