Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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