whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
