i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
