I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
only if we run a train.
done.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
