I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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