I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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