Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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