is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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